Horseshoe Crabs

Did you know that horseshoe crabs lose their shells? I sure didn’t. So you can imagine how disturbed I was to walk on to the beach and find a handful of “dead” horseshoe crabs on the shore. I decided to google why would that happen. It made me wonder could it be the water in the area was uninhabitable? So many things crossed my mind. 

When I googled, I found an article stating how horseshoe crabs shed their shells like snakes shed their skin. Supposedly the process of them shedding the skin was one of maturation and they had most likely just outgrown their current one. The way this process follows through is they will crack the front of the shell and crawl into a bigger one. Then the waves will wash up the old ones to shore. Of course when I read this I started checking all of their shells. They all had that crack at the front.

Now, this may not seem so profound to you but it was to me. The reason being because right before I stumbled upon these many “shells” I’d been questioning in my mind, how does a Christian grieve when they know someone is with Jesus? 

My husband lost his youngest brother 19 days ago. It’s still so hard to believe for us. Some days I feel good and then others like today I just thought of him. I was sad. Sad that his time earthside was 26 years short. Sad because I wish that things would have gone differently. 
In the midst of this God reminded me that we can grieve but must remember that life on earth is just temporary. When we “mature” or reach our early time limit, it’s only an upgrade. We have a better “shell” in heaven with our savior. 

James 4:14 How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog—it’s here a little while, then it’s gone. 

My Weakness = His Strength

So where do I start.
Life.... like the ocean?
It's a bit corny, I know. I believe it though. As cliché as it may sound.
Life comes in waves with lulls or those moments of calm in between.
I like the lull, that moment where I feel I can take a breather, ya know?
The kids are behaving almost perfectly, hubby has tons of time off work,
And I'm just in an overall good mood.

What do you do when the waves come though?
Your health is compromised, children struggling at school, you lost your job,
divorce, etc.

Although our "waves" may look different they will inevitably come. We can think
thank God that's not me, or wow that poor person, life is unfair, blah blah blah.
Then they come..you know the waves.

So, I've come to view the waves different.  Instead of wishing or praying them away,
I will wait. I will wait but keeping this special idea in my heart "Give God your weakness
and He will give you His strength". So I don't particularly love them because that's hard
sometimes. I appreciate them though because in the waves I can stand firm knowing
that Gods perfect strength is revealed. I know my own strength is not really strength.

2 Corinthians 12:9 AMP but He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you [My lovingkindness and My mercy are more than enough—always available—regardless of the situation]; for My power is being perfected [and is completed and shows itself most effectively] in your weakness.” Therefore, I will all the more gladly boast in my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may completely enfold me and may dwell in me.

Travis' First Birthday

I can't believe it will be a whole year since you've been in our lives. When I try to think back of a time before you it's almost unimaginable. This first year of being your mom has been such a whirlwind of emotions. I feel so excited and proud of all you have overcome in just this short little year of life.

You've taught me oh so much about life, faith, and even myself. I'm definitely much tougher than I give myself credit for. I remember thinking back and how we'd dream about what it'd be like to have another baby. Then I found out I was pregnant. Then you were born and we faced some of the hardest moments and greatest victories of our lives.

I was so scared when we heard the news about your birth defects. I felt robbed. Robbed of a blissful post-delivery experience. I remember crying in the recovery room because I could hear other babies and I was baby less. You had already been sent off to the CHKD nicu. It was so painful but little did I know that God was mending the whole situation. In this short little year you've had two successful surgeries. And are thriving and doing so well.

I do not know what the future holds but I'm so grateful for you. I love you so much. My prayer for you this year is that you continue to grow and develop to you fullest potential. I pray that God always be the center of your life and that you love Him with all your heart. I pray for your protection and I speak health and abundance over this little life of yours. Happy 1st Birthday Travis!

10 Months New

Is exactly what I am. I'm definitely not the same person I was 10 months ago. I remember when I was pregnant with Travis and I would wonder how different I'd become. I always heard you change when you go from being a mother of 1 to a mother of 2. When you think you can't love your next child anymore your heart just grows. I guess that's a way to put it. 

In our circumstances I feel I did twice as much growing. These past 10 months have taught me way more than I expected. I thought I had grown patient but I had more to grow in that department. I've learned to have faith too. I was always a believer in God. With everything Travis has experienced and we as a family, made me grow even more faith. 

We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain,
where our forerunner, Jesus, has entered on our behalf. 

Hebrews 6:19-20

Travis had his follow up appointment with the geneticist today at CHKD. She's so sweet and knowledgeable. She was so happy to see us and said how much Travis had grown. That he was developing beautifully. She even held him and gave him little kisses. That is a total reminder of how faithful my God is. We are now able to see her yearly. Just to continue to make sure he's doing well. 

I feel a need to ask if you are reading this and hopelessness has taken over, you're experiencing something, or believing for something in particular. Message me so we can pray together. Esperanza1461@aol.com, on IG, or even Facebook! 

Hugs!!!